the Weight of Empty || My Story With Pictures {personal}

It comes as no surprise for me to tell you, time to myself is scarce at best, given the landscape of our young active home. Time and quiet- strangers to me now- but still, there are words stirring, darting about my mind in desperate hope of finding a page to land on. We, myself and my endlessly supportive Rob, have resolved to seek the time out from its hiding. Vowed to unearth a piece of quiet for a spell. Today is one such pocket of pursuit. And here I sit-with time and quiet sharing my booth and latte, staring back at me with expectation.  A morning set aside, intentioned for my attention, to gather those darting thoughts and release them to dance on pages outside of myself. Yet, I am empty…literally heavy- weighed down by the abundance of my empty. Focus scattered, wounds fresh and nagging, soul wayward…

A prayer whispered, “find me, keep me, lift me…please…please.”

My fingers turn pages of a journal filled with those thoughts freed on days past. My eyes pause on a note scribbled, “Psalm 145,” thoughts turning, reminiscing…The peony bush from the yard of our first home- undoubtedly one of my favorite things about that old house. Every one of the six springs we lived in the small cottage with stories in the walls, the peonies bloomed, greeting us with simple spring beauty just beyond the kitchen. I learned after a year or two, to enjoy my backyard blooms while I could, as they tend to fade as quickly and quietly as they arrive. One Tennessee rain shower is all it takes to level the blossoming plant. The gorgeous complex layers of delicate petals pose no match for the burden of rain. Beauty buckling under water’s weight- heavy and driven to dirt, petals scattered. Beauty buckling.

Again a whisper, “keep me, lift me, fill me…”

 

“The Lord helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads…The Lord is close to all who call on him.” Psalm 145:14, 18a

May 27, 2011 - 4:14 pm

Steph W. Hi, Sarah: You expressed so beautifully what was in your heart in this post. The photo is lovely, too. I pray you are refreshed in your times of quiet :) Blessings, Steph

June 17, 2011 - 12:59 am

Raychel Wade Make Up Artist Wonderful story and perfect pictures!

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