“Let’s trim up the sides and back, leave the length on top please.” I say to the woman poised to trim Asher’s blonde mop. The words had no sooner left my lips when her two-year-old client realized what was in store and decided the entire salon really must experience the ferocity of his disapproval. And through the tears and cries and out and out screams bellowing from the chair below, the stylist began to cut. And cut. And then chop. And chop some more. Semi-horrified, I could see out of the corner of my eye large chunks of hair falling from the “length on top”, but as any parent who has experienced the public tantrum understands, in that moment we had one priority, and the growing pile of hair on the floor was, unfortunately not it.
After an eternity of 4 minutes and 37 seconds,
Edward Scissorhands the stylist finished, and Asher mouth gaping, mid-yell, simply stopped screaming. As I began to pick the gobs of stray hairs from the now half a dozen bribery lollipops he had accrued, Asher hopped off that chair, ran straight over to the stylist – the woman he just behaved as if was ripping his toenails off one-by-one, that woman- and gave her one of his trademark “this is why all the ladies love me” hugs. And just like that the child trotted off for his 11th lollipop carefree without a tear in sight, his battle-worn parents following wearily behind.
So about that length on top…Yeah…Not only was Asher the new recipient of incredibly short hair, he also had incredibly AW.FUL. hair. The kind of hair that when out in public is met with comments like, “Bless his heart- our son cut his hair at that age too!” I couldn’t entirely fault the woman wielding the over-zealous shears, given what she was up against. Still, all attempts of gelling and brushing and spritzing the hair into something slightly less horrible were futile:
Now, as I see it we have two options here.
Asher either spends the next 4-6 weeks wearing this:
OR, he joins the wildly popular, albeit somewhat predictable ranks of the faux hawk wearer:
I suggested to Ash we take it to a vote. He agreed, but insisted I show you this first:
That’s what I thought. Smart fella.